My Name is Jali

God has been working on me sooo much y'all! Lord knows, I love to be in charge. I pride myself on being the mother hen, the caretaker, the mentor, the big (little sis), the person everybody runs to for help or advice. It makes me feel needed an important, validates my suspicions that I matter to others. But Lord, Lord, Lord, these past 2 years!! So it was bad enough that I lost my grandfather just before starting graduate school and relinquished all control over my emotions and composure. Then I had to take an "Incomplete" for a class which I HATED because I have a SERIOUS problem with not getting things done on time. But thank God, I finished, and got that grade in by the next semester, and it was all good. THEN! I went home, and felt completely out of place with my family, which is the most foreign concept to me in the world. I felt replaced, discarded, unneeded, un-missed, and dismissed. It was real. Took the whole summer to accept that I was not in control ove...

Lord, I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I continue to let my feelings get in the way of my responsibility to worship You. I keep waking up late and using it as a reason not to have morning prayer. I keep finding things to do besides study my Bible like I used to. I am painfully aware of these shortcomings and yet I can't seem to make myself change. I know that I am taking You for granted, and it's killing me. I miss You. I miss talking to You and hearing Your voice. I know it breaks Your heart every time I ignore you, but I don't know what it is that continues to drive me. Oh, wait. Yes I do. It's my flesh. My body likes the extra 15 minutes of sleep, and it takes advantage when I don't set my alarm. I can't help but laugh at what I saw on TV last night and I didn't think enough to turn it off. Lord, I want You to know that I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are my Light, and the source of my strength. There is no one else who can heal me, ...

Well Blogger Fam, My month of separation has come to an end, and as of tomorrow, October 1, I will be resuming my activity on Facebook and Twitter. I know I didn't blog as much as I promised I would, but I hope the posts I did publish encouraged somebody. But, let's talk about what I learned this month... I learned that the Devil is not playing with me! He knew I wanted to spend more time in prayer and devotion to with God, and any obstacle that could be thrown in my way, sho nuff was! All of a sudden, I was sleepy all the time, eating more, praying less, and struggling to read my Bible. But thank God, He didn't give up on me! He helped me to study my Word even more, He kept calling me to pray, even when I was dead tired, and He reminded me of where my help comes from. So I'm grateful. I've also become more aware of how much of a living testimony my life already is, and the steps I need to take to go further. I've learned the difference between agreeing to...

This month, I've been doing some serious reading and contemplating on my life as a single woman of God. Now that I'm 23, I'm getting the comments. You know the ones... "Have you found a husband yet?" "It's about time for you to start settling down." and my favorite, "You ready to marry your preacher yet?"Also, I've been receiving the backwards-push to marriage from my grandmother who told me that if I marry a white man (because I'm out here in a predominantly Caucasoid environment), to 'make sure he voted for Obama'... but I digress... Anyway, I'm at the age where more and more of my friends are getting swept up into serious relationships and/or marriage, and I'm starting to contemplate my singleness. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not at the front of any lines ready to break a face over a bouquet, but I'm starting to wonder about my life as a single woman and what it would be like to be married. On th...

So I read through the book of Revelation... and I came across the Revelation 12 woman. Here she was, pregnant with a child of destiny, and running from a Dragon. This thing wanted to kill her, her child, and the promise that came along with its birth. But, God had a plan of escape. The Dragon was cocky, see. Instead of snuffing out the life of the woman and the child while he was in her womb, he decided to wait until he was born and kill him personally. How arrogant! When the child was born, he was snatched up to God and his throne (Rev. 12:5). Then the woman was able to flee to a place of refuge in the wilderness that had been prepared for her. There was a war in heaven against the Dragon, and he was (of course) defeated. He tried to stop the woman from getting to her designated place, but failed. From then on, he determined to wage war against all of her other offspring, who are Believers and hold on to their testimony about Jesus Christ. Why is this story so powerful?? It lets us ...

Luke 15:11-32. Many of you know this story, but I'll refresh your memory if you don't remember. So there was a man who was pretty well off, and decided that his sons would inherit his wealth after he died. One of his sons decided that he did not want to stay and work in the family business; he wanted to go off and make his own mark on the world and see what life was all about. So, he got his father to give him his inheritance early so that he could find himself. He went out and lived a fast life, made fake friends who used him and his money, and when it was all gone, ended up alone and poor. The son felt guilty for a time and took some jobs that were beneath his original status, including working with pigs, who are among the filthiest animals in existence. Finally, he had enough and decided to return home. He didn't feel that he deserved to be restored to his original status, however. He would have been happy just to be a servant in his father's house, just as long as h...

"Amazing grace shall always be my song of praise, For it was grace that bought my liberty. I do not know just why He came to love me so. He looked beyond all my faults, and saw my need." - He Looked Beyond My Faults by Dottie Rambo So last month my cousins and I were at a choir rehearsal, preparing for a funeral, and one of my cousins got a little emotional during the song "Amazing Grace." As we walked her outside for some air, we overheard someone asking why she was crying. Her reply was "the Grace got to me." We laughed at her sarcasm, but as I reflect on the memory, I can't help but wonder about the Grace. Someone once explained the difference between grace and mercy to me. Apparently, mercy is when you didn't get the punishment that you did deserve, and grace is when you receive the blessings that you didn't deserve (or something like that, I'm paraphrasing). By that logic, you could say that grace is equivalent to favor. The s...