10 Things that I Deserve
10 things that I deserve:
1. To have a nonexistant relationship with my parents - because I chose to let hurt and anger override my good sense and decided to dishonor them
2. To be locked away in a psychiatric hospital pumped full of medication - because I wouldn't forgive and it literally drove me insane
3. To be in a relationship with a man who doesn't love me, cheats on me, and uses me - because I didn't listen to my friends when they told me to leave him alone
4. To have an STD or children by that man and deal with it alone - because he was almost able to talk me out of my pants
5. To be living on the street - because I didn't know how or care to manage my money in an appropriate way
6. To have no friends - because I didn't know how to stay out of my feelings enough to be a good one, or keep my mouth shut long enough not to offend those around me
7. To be a college dropout - because I had very limited study skills, an overabundance of pride, and a complete lack of discipline
8. To be sick and debilitated - because I let so much stress and anxiety build up that it actually began to break me down physically
9. To be totally and completely alone - because I let pride keep me from making amends or allowing others to attempt to
10. To be dead - because when I was learning to drive I made really stupid mistakes. Because in junior high my friends and I played stupid games in traffic on the way to school. Because I ate food that hadn't been cooked properly. Because I engaged in horseplay with my friends on concrete and could have busted my head wide open. Because the ammonia that fell in my eye when I was 9 could have gotten into my nose or mouth and my parents might not have gotten me to the hospital in time. Because that car that ran his red light and was driving 55mph in a 30 zone could have hit me if I had started to drive when my light turned green. Because the police officer that gave me a speeding ticket could have done much worse and there would have been nobody there to defend me. Because the 50+ planes I've been on could have dropped out of the sky. Because... my life could be over. Just like that.
I am SO glad that God never gave me what I deserve!
1. To have a nonexistant relationship with my parents - because I chose to let hurt and anger override my good sense and decided to dishonor them
2. To be locked away in a psychiatric hospital pumped full of medication - because I wouldn't forgive and it literally drove me insane
3. To be in a relationship with a man who doesn't love me, cheats on me, and uses me - because I didn't listen to my friends when they told me to leave him alone
4. To have an STD or children by that man and deal with it alone - because he was almost able to talk me out of my pants
5. To be living on the street - because I didn't know how or care to manage my money in an appropriate way
6. To have no friends - because I didn't know how to stay out of my feelings enough to be a good one, or keep my mouth shut long enough not to offend those around me
7. To be a college dropout - because I had very limited study skills, an overabundance of pride, and a complete lack of discipline
8. To be sick and debilitated - because I let so much stress and anxiety build up that it actually began to break me down physically
9. To be totally and completely alone - because I let pride keep me from making amends or allowing others to attempt to
10. To be dead - because when I was learning to drive I made really stupid mistakes. Because in junior high my friends and I played stupid games in traffic on the way to school. Because I ate food that hadn't been cooked properly. Because I engaged in horseplay with my friends on concrete and could have busted my head wide open. Because the ammonia that fell in my eye when I was 9 could have gotten into my nose or mouth and my parents might not have gotten me to the hospital in time. Because that car that ran his red light and was driving 55mph in a 30 zone could have hit me if I had started to drive when my light turned green. Because the police officer that gave me a speeding ticket could have done much worse and there would have been nobody there to defend me. Because the 50+ planes I've been on could have dropped out of the sky. Because... my life could be over. Just like that.
I am SO glad that God never gave me what I deserve!
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