10 things that I deserve: 1. To have a nonexistant relationship with my parents - because I chose to let hurt and anger override my good sense and decided to dishonor them 2. To be locked away in a psychiatric hospital pumped full of medication - because I wouldn't forgive and it literally drove me insane 3. To be in a relationship with a man who doesn't love me, cheats on me, and uses me - because I didn't listen to my friends when they told me to leave him alone 4. To have an STD or children by that man and deal with it alone - because he was almost able to talk me out of my pants 5. To be living on the street - because I didn't know how or care to manage my money in an appropriate way 6. To have no friends - because I didn't know how to stay out of my feelings enough to be a good one, or keep my mouth shut long enough not to offend those around me 7. To be a college dropout - because I had very limited study skills, an overabundance of pride, and a ...
It's no secret that I have not enjoyed my college experience at all... A big part of it was that I did not want to come here in the first place so there was already a black mark on my attitude about college in general... When I got here I called myself giving it a chance by becoming part of a clique. The clique broke up and I took that as an excuse to condemn the rest of my time here and I have been miserable ever since. This is gonna sound like a pity party for a minute but bear with me, I promise it's going somewhere! But anyway... I hated that the school was so small, it was in the middle of nowhere, there was no public transportation, I had to ask people for rides if I wanted to go ANYWHERE off campus, everybody was either part of a Greek letter organization or wanted to be a part of one, I was trying to stay saved and there was no church around where I felt comfortable and there weren't that many saved people on campus who were trying to hold on like I was, and ...
For the past year or so, it has seemed like every part of my life has been in a state of transition - new school, new city, new apartment, multiple losses, and drastic changes in different relationships have all occurred within the last 12 months. The biggest and perhaps one of the most frustrating aspect of my life, though? MY HAIR!! For those of you who have never had a relaxer put in their hair, let me tell you about "transitioning." A person who is transitioning is in the process of returning their hair to a natural state instead of continuing to straighten it with chemicals. The thing about a relaxer is that it is permanent, and once hair has been relaxed, it cannot return to its original state. Therefore, if someone wanted to go back to being "natural," which means leaving your hair in the same state as when it grows out of your head, that person has to let that hair grow out. To a person who has long, thick locks, this proce...
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