My Testimony

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August Writing Challenge - Day 6 - Change

Okay. This may be the worst one for me to write, because I HATE change! I like my comfort zone. I want everybody in my life to get along (like I once believed they did, since they would pretend for my sake), and I do NOT like having to alter my own perceptions to fit a change that I did not bring about myself. I'm a control freak. I like to know what's happening next. I can be flexible, as long as I have some warning and time to brace myself. I have faith that all things will work together for my good, as long as I obey God and try my best to always do the right thing. My problem is that I want to know WHEN the good part is going to come, what form it will come in, and the signs I need to look out for as I wait for the good stuff to come. When I look back in hindsight, I realize that all of the changes that have happened previously were merely just steps in the shift my life was taking to prepare me for the things to come. For example: When I was a junior in college, I dec...
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Me, Vashti and Esther

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"And if I perish, I perish." - Esther 4:16 I always knew I was royalty. No, my parents never called me little pet names like "Princess" or allowed me to put on airs like I was above everyone else. But, they constantly told me this story about the King of Kings, and how, by being His child, I could inherit everything He has to offer. So, long before I understood what it meant, I knew that I was meant to be powerful, strong, a leader, and an example. But sometimes it's hard to know what true royalty is. Being a Proverbs 31 woman takes a lot of work. How am I to be pure and pious, without silencing the diva, the intellectual, the ME that I am?  Well, I looked in my Bible, and read about two queens who mostly followed the rules, but didn't take no stuff!!!  The first one I looked at was Vashti. Vashti was very beautiful and the king was proud of that. One day, the king had a party. He got drunk with his friends, and he decided he wanted to show off hi...
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The Dam

Well the dam finally broke Two weeks of confusion, irritation, physical and emotional pain, and anxiety finally got to me and the tears came down... The first week all I could do was sleep. I only got up for classes and work, and then it was back to bed for me I couldn't talk to anyone about anything coherent Tried to pray but I wasn't really sure of what I was praying about and there were so many things swimming in my head I was in no position to listen to what God had to say, either So I suffered in my sleep. I dreamt dreams that brought me joy and then pain when I woke up and realized that they weren't real I consoled myself and went back to sleep to dream other dreams that tormented me and then I woke up to realize that those weren't real either I didn't know what they meant so I went to sleep mentally exhausted and finally had a sleep that brought no dreams, but brought no rest either. The second week brought the fire. Everything that had been bothe...
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