My Name is Jali

         I studied this some months ago, and since then it has been on my heart to get it out on (digital) paper. I've been running from it. I don't know if it was meant to convict me, but recently it has.     This is the story of Joab, the nephew of King David, a Captain in his army. Joab was a fearless, and sometimes careless leader. He got to the point where he thought he knew better than David what was good for him, and stepped outside of his boundaries.       For those of you who don't know, here is some background on this particular situation. Somewhere around the 13th chapter of the book of 2 Samuel, David's son Absalom decides that he shouldn't have to follow rules and kills his brother. Granted, the murder may have been justified but it really wasn't his decision to make. As the book progresses, Absalom becomes more arrogant and prideful, and begins to believe that his father is not fit to rule the kingdom, ...

     This is a follow-up to a post I wrote a few months ago about my issues with Olivia Pope and how she handles her situation with Fitz. You can read it to get into the nitty-gritty, but I basically perceive her as a smart dummy who keeps returning to her own vomit, only to have to spit it up again later. But, I digress.       Mellie Grant, the President's wife, however, has my UTMOST respect. She may not run the show the way she wants to, but her survival skills are boss. She adapts to her situation and she does it well. I may not agree with everything she does, but I peep her game. She's no slouch. I love her. I truly do. My reasons? 1. Her game face is always on. - The reason so many people seem to think the affair between Liv and Fitz is "acceptable" is because they think Mellie is not affected by it. They see her as some cold, ice-queen who has no feelings for her husband, and therefore deserves to be cuckolded. Her actions ...

1 Thessalonians 5:18 -  In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Have you ever played a Mario Brothers' racing game, where you have to go through those little "checkpoints" that let you know you're getting closer to the finish line? Depending on the version of the game, when you reach the "checkpoint," sometimes things change - the scenery looks different, another obstacle can get thrown in the road, or nothing happens at all. But, that checkpoint is significant because now you know that you have gained a substantial amount of ground, but there's still more to cover until you cross that finish line. Of course, because God can use every and anything, He gave me the idea of spiritual "checkpoints." These are the moments in life where you have to evaluate yourself and your walk with God. Are you where you need to be? Are you where you want to be? Are you even going in the right direction? The wa...

This is for the woman who thinks it's all her fault, but secretly wants her friends to tell her it's not... Well, friend, it's not all your fault. It's 50% your fault. How's that? He lied, he cheated, he did you dirty, he was this, he was that, blah blah blah........ You cooked for him, cleaned for him, set boundaries so he would respect you, supported him, yeah yeah yeah...... So what did you do wrong? You stayed. I don't care how good you were to him, how many times you called him on his crap, how "perfect" you tried to be for him. If someone is emotionally, mentally, or physically hurting you, and you remain in that situation WILLINGLY, you have to accept some responsibility for the outcome. I know, I know, it's easier said than done. And what do I know about it anyway? Well, I know how hard it is to break away from someone you love, even if it's not a healthy relationship. I know it's easy (especially for women) to internal...

 " Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,   To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen." -  J ude 1:24-25 There have been times in the past few years when I've wondered what kind of ministry I could have in me. I don't have the testimony that so many people seem to have, who took a trip out to the world, found it wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and made it back to the Lord in time to reach others who might now be going through the same things. And I hope I don't sound like I'm minimizing ANYBODY'S testimony by writing so simplistically. But it seemed like they all had a story to tell. And I didn't. The thing is, I'm still a virgin. I've never had alcohol. I've never been a party goer. The few parties I've ever even been to were spent standing against a wall laughing at drunk ...

I'm watching Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta the other night (I know, I know! It's my one vice, give me this!) and I can't help but shake my head at Shay, who is just WEAK for Lil' Scrappy. The thing that got me was that she had to establish what his relationship with his baby's mother was in order to determine what her own relationship with him would be. Sounds confusing, right? Exactly. Then I read something about a woman who was feeling pressured to have sex in order to keep her boyfriend. I thought we covered that ground in middle school, but I guess not. This is for you ladies who may be a little confused about what it means when a guy is not for you, and equally importantly, not THERE for you! He's Not For You If.... 1.  The "other woman" is you  - I already touched on this. Anytime you have to determine his relationship with somebody else in order to figure out where YOU stand with him, you need to get away as fast as you can! Because not on...

     I used to really feel bad for Olivia Pope. This woman was in an impossible position, in love with somebody she couldn't have, and doing her best to stay strong and move on. Right? So wrong! After watching the 2nd season finale of Scandal, the boiling hatred I felt for President Fitzgerald Grant spilled over and spread to Olivia, or "Livvie", as he affectionately calls her.       Most people who watch the show with me know that I hate the President for his fickle, impulsive, selfish, insensitive behavior that seems to hurt everyone and everything he touches. His personal life sucks, and in my opinion, so does his running of the country, since that job seems to be done by everybody else (enter, "Defiance"). I felt bad for Olivia because she was obviously so in love with him, and I felt that he took advantage of her feelings for him and then broke her heart anytime something happened that he didn't like. In my opinion, he didn't treat...

  Job 6:11 (NIV) - What strength do I have, that I should hope? What prospects, that I should be patient? Job is struggling big time. By the 6th chapter, he's lost all his kids, his livelihood, and his good reputation. On top of that he's gotten a very painful skin disease, and on top of that, his friends are convinced that he has done something terrible to earn the wrath of God. None of them realized at this point that God was simply testing Job's faithfulness and growing his faith in the process. So, we can safely say that Job's world is falling apart. He's sorrowful, he's broken, and he wishes he were dead. And now he has to hear about how sinful he is from people who are supposed to be his closest friends. Sometimes the people we need to encourage and support us are the ones kicking us when we're already down. They may say, "If you hadn't done this, then that wouldn't have...", or they may say "well you're just going to...

  When I was little, I heard about Samson, how strong he was, and how an evil woman named Delilah convinced him to tell her the secret of his strength. He told her he would lose his strength if his hair ever got cut, she ratted him out, he became weak, but then God made him strong again and he killed a lot of evil Philistines. Or something like that. Imagine my surprise almost 20 years later when I decided to study the entire book of Judges and all of its blood, sex, and gore. Samson was on a slippery slope almost from the beginning. I know we tend to favor his triumphant last hours in chapter 16, but let's back up to the beginning. In chapter 13, we meet Samson's parents, who were barren and begged the Lord for a child. He promised them that not only would He send them a child, but the child would be a deliverer of his people (the Israelites were being ruled by the Philistines at the time). The only catch: they were never to cut his hair. It's pretty evident that...

"And if I perish, I perish." - Esther 4:16 I always knew I was royalty. No, my parents never called me little pet names like "Princess" or allowed me to put on airs like I was above everyone else. But, they constantly told me this story about the King of Kings, and how, by being His child, I could inherit everything He has to offer. So, long before I understood what it meant, I knew that I was meant to be powerful, strong, a leader, and an example. But sometimes it's hard to know what true royalty is. Being a Proverbs 31 woman takes a lot of work. How am I to be pure and pious, without silencing the diva, the intellectual, the ME that I am?  Well, I looked in my Bible, and read about two queens who mostly followed the rules, but didn't take no stuff!!!  The first one I looked at was Vashti. Vashti was very beautiful and the king was proud of that. One day, the king had a party. He got drunk with his friends, and he decided he wanted to show off hi...

It's Friday night, and I'm just reflecting on some of the funny things my girls and I have said about what we wanted in a husband down through the years. The phrase, "I want a man who will grease my scalp!" came to mind and I went into a fit of hysterical laughter. Crazy woman lives alone and laughs out loud by herself. I know, whatever. ... Anyway, I just thought about this journey that I'm currently on, and how connected I really am with my hair. Whoever I end up with is gonna have understand and respect that connection. Ideally, he'll be totally on board and interested in whatever happens with my hair. I believe that woman's hair is her glory, and I know that many of my girlfriends feel the same way. Our husbands are gonna have to know that our hair is just as important as anything else on our bodies. So, I came up with a list of demands. At first I was gonna call them Commandments, but there are more than 10, and I'm kind of finicky about stuff...