My Natural Ministry
"Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen." - Jude 1:24-25
There have been times in the past few years when I've wondered what kind of ministry I could have in me. I don't have the testimony that so many people seem to have, who took a trip out to the world, found it wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and made it back to the Lord in time to reach others who might now be going through the same things. And I hope I don't sound like I'm minimizing ANYBODY'S testimony by writing so simplistically. But it seemed like they all had a story to tell. And I didn't.
The thing is, I'm still a virgin. I've never had alcohol. I've never been a party goer. The few parties I've ever even been to were spent standing against a wall laughing at drunk people and wishing I could go home. I've never smoked marijuana. I've never... never... never. I'm 24-years-old and can honestly say that there are people 10 years my junior who seem to have way more world experience than me.
My friends think that I am super naive. It might not have bothered me so much if they were only friends who weren't in church, or weren't saved. But I had friends in church who would laugh at me (not maliciously... I think) or call me "super-saved," or make little jokes like "Jalisa's been saved all her life" because I couldn't join in their reminiscing of times they've strayed and experimented and done things they weren't supposed to. Some of them may have gotten drunk one night, repented and never done it again. Some of them had sex, repented, and never did it again. Some of them left the church for a few years, had enough issues that they realized that they weren't in a place they wanted to be in, and came back. Some are still on the fence. Others... are just out there, and I'm yet praying for them.
The enemy really attacked my self-esteem. Because I have been saved since I was 12, and made up my mind that I wasn't going to do certain things, it seemed that people felt that I didn't know anything. I have heard every line in the book to justify sin. People were always telling me how "complicated" life was, and that certain things just weren't "natural", even if God was the one who said it in the first place. Any time I argued Bible, they would shut it down as if I was missing something. "It's just not that simple," they would say. I never bought it.
That's not to say that I'm perfect. Far from it. If I want to tell the truth, many of the times I refused to do something, were because I was sitting in a place of judgment, and not a place of wanting to please God. For a long time I had limited compassion for others and their struggles, and I had a very strong propensity to holding grudges, which is also known as unforgiveness. So, yes, there were (are?) things in my life that I had to be delivered from, but they were mostly internal, and didn't seem to be worth talking about. They weren't exciting like the people who had near-death experiences because they were with people they shouldn't have been or tried a drug that was too much for their body to take, and lived to tell about how the Lord protected them.
Where is my story, God? Who will relate to me? I haven't done anything!
But I was returning to Brooklyn yesterday on the way back from Baltimore, Maryland, and right in the car, the Lord began to deal with me. "You're the example," the Lord said. "You're the one who people can look at and know that I can keep them, because I kept you. You didn't not fall on your own. You trusted me, and I preserved you. You're not better than anyone else. But you aren't going to have the struggles that others will have either." Remember when I said the devil was attacking my self-esteem? I was so concerned that people would think that I thought that I was better than them. So, I would try to fit in the best I could. And when that didn't work, I would go to the other extreme and deliberately separate myself. I was wonderful at building walls to hide my insecurities. But God is yet faithful, and He is working on me.
So. My message to you is, you CAN make it! You're still human flesh, so you can't completely avoid sin and sorrow, pain and heartache. BUT GOD! Will provide a way of escape. No, you may not have an intense tale full of suspense to keep your audience captive. But you can help that little girl or that little boy who is being teased because he or she chooses to stand outside of the crowd and do what's right.
And guess what? God will use you, and you won't even know it! I've had so many friends and acquaintances come to me over the years with their problems, asking me to pray for them and talk to them. And I didn't know then that the Lord was using me. I didn't realize that it was ministry. Now I know. Now it's imperative for me to stay in God's face and in my word so that I make sure it's Him speaking through me and not me talking out of my own self.
I am the example that there is NO EXCUSE. If you want to be kept, God will keep you. If you want to go out and play, and "try" things, He will let you do that too. There's no guarantee what will happen once you're out there, though. And when you decide to return and be kept, guess what? God will keep you. It IS that simple. It IS that black-and-white. It IS the most natural thing in the world to keep your legs closed, that bottle far away from you, and to be as drama-free as you wanna be. Because God said so. And God made nature. Ergo and ipso-facto, it's natural!
There have been times in the past few years when I've wondered what kind of ministry I could have in me. I don't have the testimony that so many people seem to have, who took a trip out to the world, found it wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and made it back to the Lord in time to reach others who might now be going through the same things. And I hope I don't sound like I'm minimizing ANYBODY'S testimony by writing so simplistically. But it seemed like they all had a story to tell. And I didn't.
The thing is, I'm still a virgin. I've never had alcohol. I've never been a party goer. The few parties I've ever even been to were spent standing against a wall laughing at drunk people and wishing I could go home. I've never smoked marijuana. I've never... never... never. I'm 24-years-old and can honestly say that there are people 10 years my junior who seem to have way more world experience than me.
My friends think that I am super naive. It might not have bothered me so much if they were only friends who weren't in church, or weren't saved. But I had friends in church who would laugh at me (not maliciously... I think) or call me "super-saved," or make little jokes like "Jalisa's been saved all her life" because I couldn't join in their reminiscing of times they've strayed and experimented and done things they weren't supposed to. Some of them may have gotten drunk one night, repented and never done it again. Some of them had sex, repented, and never did it again. Some of them left the church for a few years, had enough issues that they realized that they weren't in a place they wanted to be in, and came back. Some are still on the fence. Others... are just out there, and I'm yet praying for them.
The enemy really attacked my self-esteem. Because I have been saved since I was 12, and made up my mind that I wasn't going to do certain things, it seemed that people felt that I didn't know anything. I have heard every line in the book to justify sin. People were always telling me how "complicated" life was, and that certain things just weren't "natural", even if God was the one who said it in the first place. Any time I argued Bible, they would shut it down as if I was missing something. "It's just not that simple," they would say. I never bought it.
That's not to say that I'm perfect. Far from it. If I want to tell the truth, many of the times I refused to do something, were because I was sitting in a place of judgment, and not a place of wanting to please God. For a long time I had limited compassion for others and their struggles, and I had a very strong propensity to holding grudges, which is also known as unforgiveness. So, yes, there were (are?) things in my life that I had to be delivered from, but they were mostly internal, and didn't seem to be worth talking about. They weren't exciting like the people who had near-death experiences because they were with people they shouldn't have been or tried a drug that was too much for their body to take, and lived to tell about how the Lord protected them.
Where is my story, God? Who will relate to me? I haven't done anything!
But I was returning to Brooklyn yesterday on the way back from Baltimore, Maryland, and right in the car, the Lord began to deal with me. "You're the example," the Lord said. "You're the one who people can look at and know that I can keep them, because I kept you. You didn't not fall on your own. You trusted me, and I preserved you. You're not better than anyone else. But you aren't going to have the struggles that others will have either." Remember when I said the devil was attacking my self-esteem? I was so concerned that people would think that I thought that I was better than them. So, I would try to fit in the best I could. And when that didn't work, I would go to the other extreme and deliberately separate myself. I was wonderful at building walls to hide my insecurities. But God is yet faithful, and He is working on me.
So. My message to you is, you CAN make it! You're still human flesh, so you can't completely avoid sin and sorrow, pain and heartache. BUT GOD! Will provide a way of escape. No, you may not have an intense tale full of suspense to keep your audience captive. But you can help that little girl or that little boy who is being teased because he or she chooses to stand outside of the crowd and do what's right.
And guess what? God will use you, and you won't even know it! I've had so many friends and acquaintances come to me over the years with their problems, asking me to pray for them and talk to them. And I didn't know then that the Lord was using me. I didn't realize that it was ministry. Now I know. Now it's imperative for me to stay in God's face and in my word so that I make sure it's Him speaking through me and not me talking out of my own self.
I am the example that there is NO EXCUSE. If you want to be kept, God will keep you. If you want to go out and play, and "try" things, He will let you do that too. There's no guarantee what will happen once you're out there, though. And when you decide to return and be kept, guess what? God will keep you. It IS that simple. It IS that black-and-white. It IS the most natural thing in the world to keep your legs closed, that bottle far away from you, and to be as drama-free as you wanna be. Because God said so. And God made nature. Ergo and ipso-facto, it's natural!
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