Breakage
So I decided to color my hair over the summer. It was this copper red, and I really loved it. I figured, "hey, my hair is at a length where I can rock it out, so let me get a little racey." Let me tell you, I LOVED that color! It looked good on me, and could believably be my natural color. All summer long, I was amazed at how good my hair looked to me. I puffed out all July and August until it was time to go back to school. Alfred water is not good for my hair so I decided to keep it in protective styles for the semester and not wear it out too much so that it could grow without breakage.
Here's the thing. I noticed that my hair grew significantly over the year. But it was breaking off! The ends were weak, and I wasn't retaining the length that I had gained. My hair wasn't as full as I wanted it to be and thought it should be at this point in my natural journey. So, because it doesn't take much, I began to obsess over it. I noticed that the colored ends were thinner than the natural roots. I was transported back to when I decided not to relax my hair anymore, and I remembered a hairstylist telling me that the relaxed hair was in a tug of war with the natural hair. Because the relaxed hair was weaker, it was being broken down, and my ends were splitting and breaking off. Guess what? It's the same thing with permanently colored hair. Genius.
In the end, I realized that I was going to have to treat my colored hair the way I treated my relaxed hair. I would either need to color it again, or I would need to clip the color out until it was all gone. There was no way I was going to faithfully keep up a hair color regimen, so the only other option would be to continuously trim my ends. There go my retention dreams.....
Because there's a lesson in everything, let me direct you to Philippians 3:7-14. Basically it says that the worldly things that we have gained, we lose for Christ. We have to leave behind things in our pasts, that may have looked good TO us but have not been good FOR us in order to achieve the goal of the calling that God has on our lives. In order for me to enjoy healthy, malleable hair, not only do I have to refrain from coloring it again, but I have to sacrifice length to restore it to its glory. It's almost like starting over again. It's frustrating, but I can only be mad at myself because it's the result of a choice I made.
Nothing matters more than walking in the will of God and being submitted to Him. He can only take us higher. Sometimes we invite things or allow things into our lives that may be cool for the time being, but force us to deal with unexpected consequences later. And we can't get mad at God (or the Devil) when it happens. We have to acknowledge our part in it and recognize the steps it will take to get us back to 0.
I recently "spiritually" let go of my unsaved friends. When you are intimate with someone, be it romantically, in friendship, and especially in family, you can create what is known as a "soul tie." You bear their spiritual burdens. That's why 2 Corinthians 6:14-17 warns us about being unequally yoked. It protects the believer and the nonbeliever as well. In any relationship, there is going to be some compromise. If you're doing the compromising with someone who is not submitted to the will of God, you're in dangerous territory.
Back to my friends. There was a physical, and somewhat emotional, separation a long time ago. We all went off to college, and now that we're officially living adult lives, it gets more difficult to see each other, or even speak to one another on a regular basis. But, there was still the bond that we forged a decade ago that allowed them to influence me, even now. Even in its weakest state. But then, one day, it was put on my heart, that I needed to truly let them go. I needed to free them from my heart's embrace. There was nothing in those relationships that would edify my relationship with God, and there was really nothing I could do for them unless they were willing to get saved. It was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. While I was sad to release a ten+ year friendship, it was also a relief to know that there was no longer a struggle between them and my salvation.
Don't get me wrong, I will ALWAYS love my girls! But they can't be "my girls" anymore the way that my saved friends are. Their drama can't be my drama because we're not going to go to the same place for a resolution. They can call me, and I'll pray and give them advice according to what the Bible says, but I can no longer "go there" with them without putting space between me and my God. I can't laugh at their jokes anymore because they can be hurtful and downright against the Word of God. I can't condone their relationships anymore because they operate outside of the Will of God.
There's an old hymn that says "Nothing between my soul and my savior. Keep the way clear! Let nothing between." It's not that I judge them, but my life has to be totally separate from theirs so that I can live holy (2 Corinthians 6:17; 1 Peter 1:17). It's a God thing.
The truth is, we can't have our cake and eat it too. I loved my hair color, but I didn't love the damage that it did to my hair. I love my friends, but I don't love the awkwardness that comes every time I have to decide whether to correct them or sit in silence when they say and do things that are in direct violation of God's will. We have to make a choice. Healthy hair (that always looks good) or temporarily funky hair (that takes MUCH maintenance and still breaks off)? Intimacy with the Lord, or intimacy with man? I choose healthy hair, and a healthy relationship with my Savior! And I got a sweet deal because He has every benefit!
P.S. The following video had me ROLLING!! She was so real, and realistic! Enjoy :)
Here's the thing. I noticed that my hair grew significantly over the year. But it was breaking off! The ends were weak, and I wasn't retaining the length that I had gained. My hair wasn't as full as I wanted it to be and thought it should be at this point in my natural journey. So, because it doesn't take much, I began to obsess over it. I noticed that the colored ends were thinner than the natural roots. I was transported back to when I decided not to relax my hair anymore, and I remembered a hairstylist telling me that the relaxed hair was in a tug of war with the natural hair. Because the relaxed hair was weaker, it was being broken down, and my ends were splitting and breaking off. Guess what? It's the same thing with permanently colored hair. Genius.
 |
| Tuck and Roll Style with a Jali twist - 2014 |
In the end, I realized that I was going to have to treat my colored hair the way I treated my relaxed hair. I would either need to color it again, or I would need to clip the color out until it was all gone. There was no way I was going to faithfully keep up a hair color regimen, so the only other option would be to continuously trim my ends. There go my retention dreams.....
Because there's a lesson in everything, let me direct you to Philippians 3:7-14. Basically it says that the worldly things that we have gained, we lose for Christ. We have to leave behind things in our pasts, that may have looked good TO us but have not been good FOR us in order to achieve the goal of the calling that God has on our lives. In order for me to enjoy healthy, malleable hair, not only do I have to refrain from coloring it again, but I have to sacrifice length to restore it to its glory. It's almost like starting over again. It's frustrating, but I can only be mad at myself because it's the result of a choice I made.
Nothing matters more than walking in the will of God and being submitted to Him. He can only take us higher. Sometimes we invite things or allow things into our lives that may be cool for the time being, but force us to deal with unexpected consequences later. And we can't get mad at God (or the Devil) when it happens. We have to acknowledge our part in it and recognize the steps it will take to get us back to 0.
I recently "spiritually" let go of my unsaved friends. When you are intimate with someone, be it romantically, in friendship, and especially in family, you can create what is known as a "soul tie." You bear their spiritual burdens. That's why 2 Corinthians 6:14-17 warns us about being unequally yoked. It protects the believer and the nonbeliever as well. In any relationship, there is going to be some compromise. If you're doing the compromising with someone who is not submitted to the will of God, you're in dangerous territory.
Back to my friends. There was a physical, and somewhat emotional, separation a long time ago. We all went off to college, and now that we're officially living adult lives, it gets more difficult to see each other, or even speak to one another on a regular basis. But, there was still the bond that we forged a decade ago that allowed them to influence me, even now. Even in its weakest state. But then, one day, it was put on my heart, that I needed to truly let them go. I needed to free them from my heart's embrace. There was nothing in those relationships that would edify my relationship with God, and there was really nothing I could do for them unless they were willing to get saved. It was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. While I was sad to release a ten+ year friendship, it was also a relief to know that there was no longer a struggle between them and my salvation.
Don't get me wrong, I will ALWAYS love my girls! But they can't be "my girls" anymore the way that my saved friends are. Their drama can't be my drama because we're not going to go to the same place for a resolution. They can call me, and I'll pray and give them advice according to what the Bible says, but I can no longer "go there" with them without putting space between me and my God. I can't laugh at their jokes anymore because they can be hurtful and downright against the Word of God. I can't condone their relationships anymore because they operate outside of the Will of God.
There's an old hymn that says "Nothing between my soul and my savior. Keep the way clear! Let nothing between." It's not that I judge them, but my life has to be totally separate from theirs so that I can live holy (2 Corinthians 6:17; 1 Peter 1:17). It's a God thing.
The truth is, we can't have our cake and eat it too. I loved my hair color, but I didn't love the damage that it did to my hair. I love my friends, but I don't love the awkwardness that comes every time I have to decide whether to correct them or sit in silence when they say and do things that are in direct violation of God's will. We have to make a choice. Healthy hair (that always looks good) or temporarily funky hair (that takes MUCH maintenance and still breaks off)? Intimacy with the Lord, or intimacy with man? I choose healthy hair, and a healthy relationship with my Savior! And I got a sweet deal because He has every benefit!
P.S. The following video had me ROLLING!! She was so real, and realistic! Enjoy :)
Comments
Post a Comment