50 Shades of What Now?
This actually started off as a Facebook rant, but I have more to say. Basically, it started when I read an article by a psychiatrist who discussed the dangerous themes about relationships that are portrayed in the books and film 50 Shades of Grey. You can read it here.
I've been weaning myself off of and blocking myself from shows that I believe are really socially damaging (Scandal, Empire, anything produced by or starring Tyler Perry, T.D. Jakes, or Oprah), and are perpetuating attitudes and perceptions that are destroying our communities. While none of the shows I watch are spiritually edifying, I've been REALLY determined to stay away from materials that are especially spiritually damaging, hence my hesitation to even be curious about 50 Shades of Grey in literary or cinematic format. I've been pretty good, if I may say so myself, and when the movie came out, I wasn't moved at all to buy a ticket.
So when I came across the above article, here was my reaction:
Here's my thing. It's one thing to engage in something even if you know it's not good for you. It's like when I was a kid and my parents told me to come straight home from school and not to stop at the store. Well, guess who always skipped lunch and saved her money for some Sour Power Straws, Peanut Chews, and Gummy Hamburgers? But peep this. I got in, got my stuff, and got out. I didn't go to the back of the store, mess with the merchandise and get into silly antics. I was careful, because any slip-up meant more of a chance for my parents to find out I was someplace I knew I shouldn't be. And to be honest, I'm about 98.83% sure they knew I was going to the store. I mean I had a trail of wrappers everywhere I went, and it's not like they were buying them for me. But they put that statute in place so they could ensure that even if I was being disobedient, I wouldn't be reckless, and I'd always be paying attention to my behavior.
Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Truthfully, the only way to really do this would be to move into the mountains, cut ourselves off from internet and the world at large, and not do anything ever. And we'd still fall into temptation. God knows that we live in a world that is constantly calling to our flesh. That's why He set up grace and forgiveness the way that He did. My point? Don't be so comfortable with the ways of the world that we forget that we don't subscribe to them. Seriously. It's one thing to watch and know what you're watching. It's another to be willfully blind to what you're exposing yourself to. We know that the Devil is sneaky. We know that he has been around for thousands of years. We know that he knows every trick in the book. It is his job to take things that we know are evil and twist them so that they look good to us. We talk about it every Sunday. How many of us stub our toe on the corner of the bed and say, "The Devil is a liar!" Oh, just me? Cool.
So if we know that he's so shady, and we know that most of the people producing this material are working for him (i.e., not saved therefore controlled by the devil - 2 Timothy 2:26, anyone?), then why are we so willing to dismiss the idea that we are/can be directly influenced by such damaging messages on TV? And don't think it's the obvious stuff I'm talking about. I'm not just talking about themes of fornication, witchcraft, anti-Christ themes, and homosexuality. I'm also talking about racism (of course!), chauvinism, extreme feminism (which goes hand in hand with LGBT and abortion themes), and shady ethics.
We have to learn to start calling these things out for what they are. To be honest, I'm really not on a crusade to keep people from watching these shows. Personally, I'm simply losing the desire to be a part of spreading those messages. Some of that is my heavy sense of militantism. But my militant attitude didn't keep me from watching a Black woman be used and emotionally abused by a White man for 3 years. My militant attitude didn't keep me from watching every Tyler Perry play and movie until about 2012, even though I was very aware of the stereotypes portrayed and promoted in every production. What has? My understanding that all of this stuff is representative of the spiritual war that is above our heads. And the fact that these messages are so subtly blatant but we're willing to overlook them for an hour of entertainment. So I can't not say anything. Silence is complicity.
Watch your shows. Enjoy them, even. Truthfully, we all respond to things differently. Another part of the reason that I can't watch some of these shows is because they make me angry and I don't want to leave room in my heart for bitterness. You may be able to stomach it while maintaining a realistic outlook on life, and be just fine. And that's fine. But knowing that about yourself is also part of it. If you know that some shows turn you on, but you have no legal outlets (i.e., MARRIAGE), you don't need to be watching it. If a situation makes you think of a time in your life where you were in a dark place and you find yourself sympathizing with a character who is making poor decisions, that might not be the right show for you, either. I'm just saying, know what you're watching, and understand the role that it is taking on how you view the world around you, and how that is shaping the world that we live in. It's not about becoming a mountain person, because some things you can't avoid. And shouldn't have to. But then we need to be better prepared for spiritual battle, because if we're not, we will be slaughtered.
I've been weaning myself off of and blocking myself from shows that I believe are really socially damaging (Scandal, Empire, anything produced by or starring Tyler Perry, T.D. Jakes, or Oprah), and are perpetuating attitudes and perceptions that are destroying our communities. While none of the shows I watch are spiritually edifying, I've been REALLY determined to stay away from materials that are especially spiritually damaging, hence my hesitation to even be curious about 50 Shades of Grey in literary or cinematic format. I've been pretty good, if I may say so myself, and when the movie came out, I wasn't moved at all to buy a ticket.
So when I came across the above article, here was my reaction:
I had to look up some other articles to confirm but my initial reaction stands:
THAT is what 50 Shades of Grey is about??? What in the world is this society coming to? We glorify abuse now?But of course, that was for my spiritually-neutral, non-saved folks. For my church homies? Let's talk. Those people who brushed off my comments saying those shows were "just entertainment?" Yes. Most of them were people who are saved, sanctified, Holy Ghost filled, and fire-baptized. And I love them ALL dearly. So if you're reading this, PLEASE know that there's no judgment, but straight up, unadulterated love and concern.
I've been having conversations with different groups of people regarding themes of race, sexism, and overall social injustice that are running rampant in mainstream media, mainly television. Which is why more and more I'm drawn to cartoons, superhero shows, and racially homogenous casts (all white, all black, all latino, etc.) that leave very little room for the promotion and glorification of the imbalances of power that we all seem to know and love, or address them in a way that is more individual-centered, and not group-centered.
On numerous occasions when I have criticized a show for the clear messages they send, I have gotten responses like, "this show is not portraying me or my family," or "that has nothing to do with me. I just watch because it's good." And normally I stop there because I don't feel like going all "psychologist" on them and getting on a soapbox and totally killing the vibe.
But this is my page and I'll rant if I want to. It is a well-known fact that advertising companies pay big bucks to figure out the best way to sell and influence people to buy their product. Guess who will ALWAYS have a place in advertising? Psychologists and Psychiatrists. Why? Because they are trained to read body language, ask the right questions, and conduct studies and research that are in turn used to predict likely outcomes given a certain set of circumstances. It is a well-known fact that advertisers run commercials during specific shows on specific networks because they are targeting a specific audience to send a specific message that they believe the targeted audience will specifically respond to. I barely heard about Frozen until it was out of theaters. Why? Because I have no children and don't watch the Disney channel. All my friends with kids though? It was old news to them by the time I knew anything about it. Duh!!
So. If a 15-30 second commercial can influence you to spend $400 on a new phone you don't need (and probably don't want), change your diet (Activia, anyone?), get a car for the Wi-Fi even though the bars on the street and the internet in your house work just fine, then WHAT do you think sitting in front of a screen for 30-60-80-120 minutes is doing to you? The people who shape-shift during Snickers commercials don't necessarily represent you either but guess what? Somebody out there just thought "I'm hungry" and went to get a Snickers without even thinking about it. Pay attention.
Which brings me back to this article. I had no clue or interest in 50 Shades of Grey because all I knew about it was sex. But reading the article and going to find out what the actual plot of it is, and the people dying to go see it, makes me really really nervous. Can we PLEASE stop supporting things that promote and glorify violence, racism, sexism, and all that other stuff? Or can we at least cry out for more positive images for contrast? This is beyond ridiculous. Thanks, and thanks.
Here's my thing. It's one thing to engage in something even if you know it's not good for you. It's like when I was a kid and my parents told me to come straight home from school and not to stop at the store. Well, guess who always skipped lunch and saved her money for some Sour Power Straws, Peanut Chews, and Gummy Hamburgers? But peep this. I got in, got my stuff, and got out. I didn't go to the back of the store, mess with the merchandise and get into silly antics. I was careful, because any slip-up meant more of a chance for my parents to find out I was someplace I knew I shouldn't be. And to be honest, I'm about 98.83% sure they knew I was going to the store. I mean I had a trail of wrappers everywhere I went, and it's not like they were buying them for me. But they put that statute in place so they could ensure that even if I was being disobedient, I wouldn't be reckless, and I'd always be paying attention to my behavior.
Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Truthfully, the only way to really do this would be to move into the mountains, cut ourselves off from internet and the world at large, and not do anything ever. And we'd still fall into temptation. God knows that we live in a world that is constantly calling to our flesh. That's why He set up grace and forgiveness the way that He did. My point? Don't be so comfortable with the ways of the world that we forget that we don't subscribe to them. Seriously. It's one thing to watch and know what you're watching. It's another to be willfully blind to what you're exposing yourself to. We know that the Devil is sneaky. We know that he has been around for thousands of years. We know that he knows every trick in the book. It is his job to take things that we know are evil and twist them so that they look good to us. We talk about it every Sunday. How many of us stub our toe on the corner of the bed and say, "The Devil is a liar!" Oh, just me? Cool.
So if we know that he's so shady, and we know that most of the people producing this material are working for him (i.e., not saved therefore controlled by the devil - 2 Timothy 2:26, anyone?), then why are we so willing to dismiss the idea that we are/can be directly influenced by such damaging messages on TV? And don't think it's the obvious stuff I'm talking about. I'm not just talking about themes of fornication, witchcraft, anti-Christ themes, and homosexuality. I'm also talking about racism (of course!), chauvinism, extreme feminism (which goes hand in hand with LGBT and abortion themes), and shady ethics.
We have to learn to start calling these things out for what they are. To be honest, I'm really not on a crusade to keep people from watching these shows. Personally, I'm simply losing the desire to be a part of spreading those messages. Some of that is my heavy sense of militantism. But my militant attitude didn't keep me from watching a Black woman be used and emotionally abused by a White man for 3 years. My militant attitude didn't keep me from watching every Tyler Perry play and movie until about 2012, even though I was very aware of the stereotypes portrayed and promoted in every production. What has? My understanding that all of this stuff is representative of the spiritual war that is above our heads. And the fact that these messages are so subtly blatant but we're willing to overlook them for an hour of entertainment. So I can't not say anything. Silence is complicity.
Watch your shows. Enjoy them, even. Truthfully, we all respond to things differently. Another part of the reason that I can't watch some of these shows is because they make me angry and I don't want to leave room in my heart for bitterness. You may be able to stomach it while maintaining a realistic outlook on life, and be just fine. And that's fine. But knowing that about yourself is also part of it. If you know that some shows turn you on, but you have no legal outlets (i.e., MARRIAGE), you don't need to be watching it. If a situation makes you think of a time in your life where you were in a dark place and you find yourself sympathizing with a character who is making poor decisions, that might not be the right show for you, either. I'm just saying, know what you're watching, and understand the role that it is taking on how you view the world around you, and how that is shaping the world that we live in. It's not about becoming a mountain person, because some things you can't avoid. And shouldn't have to. But then we need to be better prepared for spiritual battle, because if we're not, we will be slaughtered.
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