10 things that I deserve: 1. To have a nonexistant relationship with my parents - because I chose to let hurt and anger override my good sense and decided to dishonor them 2. To be locked away in a psychiatric hospital pumped full of medication - because I wouldn't forgive and it literally drove me insane 3. To be in a relationship with a man who doesn't love me, cheats on me, and uses me - because I didn't listen to my friends when they told me to leave him alone 4. To have an STD or children by that man and deal with it alone - because he was almost able to talk me out of my pants 5. To be living on the street - because I didn't know how or care to manage my money in an appropriate way 6. To have no friends - because I didn't know how to stay out of my feelings enough to be a good one, or keep my mouth shut long enough not to offend those around me 7. To be a college dropout - because I had very limited study skills, an overabundance of pride, and a ...
Okay. This may be the worst one for me to write, because I HATE change! I like my comfort zone. I want everybody in my life to get along (like I once believed they did, since they would pretend for my sake), and I do NOT like having to alter my own perceptions to fit a change that I did not bring about myself. I'm a control freak. I like to know what's happening next. I can be flexible, as long as I have some warning and time to brace myself. I have faith that all things will work together for my good, as long as I obey God and try my best to always do the right thing. My problem is that I want to know WHEN the good part is going to come, what form it will come in, and the signs I need to look out for as I wait for the good stuff to come. When I look back in hindsight, I realize that all of the changes that have happened previously were merely just steps in the shift my life was taking to prepare me for the things to come. For example: When I was a junior in college, I dec...
"And if I perish, I perish." - Esther 4:16 I always knew I was royalty. No, my parents never called me little pet names like "Princess" or allowed me to put on airs like I was above everyone else. But, they constantly told me this story about the King of Kings, and how, by being His child, I could inherit everything He has to offer. So, long before I understood what it meant, I knew that I was meant to be powerful, strong, a leader, and an example. But sometimes it's hard to know what true royalty is. Being a Proverbs 31 woman takes a lot of work. How am I to be pure and pious, without silencing the diva, the intellectual, the ME that I am? Well, I looked in my Bible, and read about two queens who mostly followed the rules, but didn't take no stuff!!! The first one I looked at was Vashti. Vashti was very beautiful and the king was proud of that. One day, the king had a party. He got drunk with his friends, and he decided he wanted to show off hi...
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