My Name is Jali

10 things that I deserve: 1. To have a nonexistant relationship with my parents - because I chose to let hurt and anger override my good sense and decided to dishonor them 2. To be locked away in a psychiatric hospital pumped full of medication - because I wouldn't forgive and it literally drove me insane 3. To be in a relationship with a man who doesn't love me, cheats on me, and uses me - because I didn't listen to my friends when they told me to leave him alone 4. To have an STD or children by that man and deal with it alone - because he was almost able to talk me out of my pants 5. To be living on the street - because I didn't know how or care to manage my money in an appropriate way 6. To have no friends - because I didn't know how to stay out of my feelings enough to be a good one, or keep my mouth shut long enough not to offend those around me 7. To be a college dropout - because I had very limited study skills, an overabundance of pride, and a ...

When I turned 25, I asked to God make it my year of "grace." I wanted to have an understanding of what it meant to walk in His unmerited favor, and pass it on to others. I wanted to become more graceful, both inside and out. He has exceeded my expectations. Here's what I learned:    Grace is a gift and freely given (Romans 1:5) - Let's say that I gave you a tri-color gold bracelet embedded with multiple precious stones, engraved with your name on it, along with a proclamation of my love for you, for no apparent reason. Would you be turning the box upside down trying to find the price tag? Would you ask me a thousand questions as to why I would do such a thing? Would you be afraid to wear it because it's so nice and you don't think you could wear it well? Would you try to give it back because you didn't want to feel like you owed me anything? Would you try to guess how much it cost and resolve in your heart that you would repay me, or give me something ...

 So... I've been pretty vocal regarding my feelings about all the goings-on between the "Powers that Be" and the Black community. Probably more vocal than I've been since high school. And I've noticed that since I've made my stance clear on the issues, a lot of people have fallen silent. And I don't just mean silent on the issues. I mean silent. Like I don't hear from them anymore. I'm not so much bothered by it because I'm lonely for friends; it's more like a weird occurance - I had a bunch of friends/close acquaintances, and then I started talking about my views on police brutality and racial disparity and they - poof! - disappeared from my social circle. And I question this silence. I wonder: Is it out of reverence, where they don''t feel as if they have enough information or perspective to add to the conversation so they just don't say anything? Is it the type of silence where they actually disagree with me, but don't ...

This actually started off as a Facebook rant, but I have more to say. Basically, it started when I read an article by a psychiatrist who discussed the dangerous themes about relationships that are portrayed in the books and film 50 Shades of Grey . You can read it here . I've been weaning myself off of and blocking myself from shows that I believe are really socially damaging (Scandal, Empire, anything produced by or starring Tyler Perry, T.D. Jakes, or Oprah), and are perpetuating attitudes and perceptions that are destroying our communities. While none of the shows I watch are spiritually edifying, I've been REALLY determined to stay away from materials that are especially spiritually damaging, hence my hesitation to even be curious about 50 Shades of Grey in literary or cinematic format. I've been pretty good, if I may say so myself, and when the movie came out, I wasn't moved at all to buy a ticket. So when I came across the above article, here was my reactio...