My Name is Jali

"If you ever want to make God laugh, just make a plan" Jeremiah 29:11 happens to be one of my favorite scriptures. It reads, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." The NIV version substitutes the word thoughts with plans and expected end with hope and a future . Either way, at the end, God is showing His intent on us having good things. The reason I love that scripture so much is because it is a constant reminder that God's got this! It's so easy to remember, but so hard to really put into action! Trust me, I am the Queen of Stressland and the mayor of Worryville I know what I'm talking about. You remember when you were little and your parents told you not to do something and you asked them why not (if you dared)? And they looked at you and went, "Because I said so!" and all you could do was just be quiet cus you knew if you said another word the...

The thing about me is that I always want to say something but when I open my mouth the right words never come out So every once in awhile I just have to do a thought-vomit and write out everything that's been on my mind I mean I can't accurately do that without putting all my business out in the street But something is better than nothing, right? Right. That's what I thought Sometimes you try and try to get your mind to think of other things But that thing is so stubborn! So after awhile you just have to accept what you're thinking about and see where your thoughts take you I don't know about you, but my mind is a scary place Sometimes you have SO MUCH that you know you have to do And it overwhelms you to the point where you don't want to do anything But you know if you don't you won't get to where you need to go Then you do want to do something but if you do it wrong, You'll be in even more trouble than you were in when you weren't...

When this year started, I was doing okay I should have know then that that would change I had everything I thought I needed Right where it should be But I should have known then My life doesn't do well with complacency I used to worry about being a stick in the mud Cus I don't do what others do I always felt like others were bored With the way I lived my life But as long as I was content With who I was  Had one or two true friends I would always be alright The thing that got me this year, though, Was the fact that those friends kept changing And I had to accept That they won't always be there And I had no choice but to question  Would I still be alright when that happened? To tell the truth for awhile there I wasn't I had to reposition everything about me Be my own support when I wasn't used to it Its like rebuilding a muscle that's turned to fat You know the power was once there But you're going back through Hell to find it agai...

Strand by strand Hot metal in the air, poised and ready to turn screw to straight Forced to concentrate on the task at hand I'm at the mirror for hours watching the transformation Thick hair holding the comb up as it tries to part it for its intervention It says it's not ready but the comb blazes through Then the heat comes, and the hair sizzles and falls limp My life is one transformation after another Like my hair, I try to resist I want to stay in the state I think is natural but there's something ripping me apart from it And just as I recover from the separation the heat comes I'm helpless to stop it; I can only watch it happen Again... and again.... and again...... But my hair showed length and strength And light and bounce and versatility when I finished I can only assume We've traveled down the same road thus far I can only have a similar outcome.

  a woman's work is never done a woman's drama is never finished  but with the help of her sisters a woman can get through the hard times  and smile as though they never existed

I understand the themes of life How each door closes so you can find another And your life is a continuing cycle of change and finding ways to cope I understand the terms of people They have the right to refuse to remain the same And if you can't keep up, then that's your problem to deal with your own way I understand that I am blessed Even when I feel cursed When I feel like nothing is going my way and I'm challenged by my thirst To always keep one foot forward and stay ahead of the game But sometimes each step I take to go ahead falls on a windmill that pushes me back And this circle never stops and I don't know how to get off without falling Back to the place I started And I understand... Nothing. Not even me.