Good Man... Good Woman...?
So I was sitting in the cafe talking to a homegirl today, and she made a comment about how all the good men are at State...
Some of the "men" at Claflin happened to walk by our table as she stated the comment (and I nodded my head in agreement), and of course this led to a heated debate at whether or not there were good men OR women on Claflin's campus.
My friend and I argued that there are way more good women at Claflin than there are good men
They argued that there are not.
So we debated on what makes up a good man or good woman, and all of a sudden, I came to this conclusion: Ya'll don't want good women!!
Because having a good woman means that you have to be consistent and loyal even when you don't want to be...
It means telling the truth even if it might lead to a fight because you have enough faith in her and your relationship that you'll eventually work it out and you will come to a mutual understanding
It means being there for her even when you're tired and don't necessarily want to be bothered, but you listen anyway because you are aware that she needs you
It means that when you're dealing with problems you let her know that you're going through something, and she understands that if your behavior shifts, it's not something she's done
It means that when she annoys you, you remember all the sweet things she's done for you, and stick by her anyway
It means that you put in some effort to remind her that you're still attracted to her, and she is still important to you
It means that when she's upset with you, you don't minimalize what she feels and make her feel like she's just being silly; if you do think she's being silly, talk through the situation instead of walking away
And most of all...
It means being honest with yourself and with her.
It means not stringing her along when you know you don't really want her
It means admitting your feelings for her when you know that they're real
It means not running away because you haven't anticipated the intensity of your relationship
It means not staying because it's just too hard to break up
It means knowing enough about yourself that you know your limits and intentions, and acting accordingly
It means remaining consistent when things change, and adapting to the changes
It means caring enough to share yourself, and accepting her completely...
Wanna know the definition of a good woman?
When you've achieved the status of a good man, you'll know when you see her... that's why YOU'RE supposed to find HER and not the other way around....
Some of the "men" at Claflin happened to walk by our table as she stated the comment (and I nodded my head in agreement), and of course this led to a heated debate at whether or not there were good men OR women on Claflin's campus.
My friend and I argued that there are way more good women at Claflin than there are good men
They argued that there are not.
So we debated on what makes up a good man or good woman, and all of a sudden, I came to this conclusion: Ya'll don't want good women!!
Because having a good woman means that you have to be consistent and loyal even when you don't want to be...
It means telling the truth even if it might lead to a fight because you have enough faith in her and your relationship that you'll eventually work it out and you will come to a mutual understanding
It means being there for her even when you're tired and don't necessarily want to be bothered, but you listen anyway because you are aware that she needs you
It means that when you're dealing with problems you let her know that you're going through something, and she understands that if your behavior shifts, it's not something she's done
It means that when she annoys you, you remember all the sweet things she's done for you, and stick by her anyway
It means that you put in some effort to remind her that you're still attracted to her, and she is still important to you
It means that when she's upset with you, you don't minimalize what she feels and make her feel like she's just being silly; if you do think she's being silly, talk through the situation instead of walking away
And most of all...
It means being honest with yourself and with her.
It means not stringing her along when you know you don't really want her
It means admitting your feelings for her when you know that they're real
It means not running away because you haven't anticipated the intensity of your relationship
It means not staying because it's just too hard to break up
It means knowing enough about yourself that you know your limits and intentions, and acting accordingly
It means remaining consistent when things change, and adapting to the changes
It means caring enough to share yourself, and accepting her completely...
Wanna know the definition of a good woman?
When you've achieved the status of a good man, you'll know when you see her... that's why YOU'RE supposed to find HER and not the other way around....
Hmmm. I agree with a lot of what you said. I think though, we as women have to be honest and hold up our end of the deal too. Sometimes we aren't ready for good men. What do you think?
ReplyDelete*I promise you were reading my mind when you started naming those things off!
Good post!
I honestly thought about writing about the qualities of a good woman, but I thought against it, thinking it should be a separate post, and i would want to expand on it a lil more...
ReplyDeletePlus I kind of started on that in my "womanish" note on FB so I'm trying to work out exactly what being a good woman entails... you know what I'm saying?